I should have seen this coming.

[frost_incarnate]

I should have, but somehow I did not.

I have nothing to say. There are no words left. I picked up my violin, but there was no music to play, only noise, and I am not surprised because I think that nothing beautiful can come of this.


I regret nothing.


Every word I spoke, every deed I did, I would do again.


What does that make me?

Comments

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

Stop it, please just... stop it. First you tell me I was terrible and you preferred kissing The Thing and then you calmly call me a bitch as I stand there crying and then... then you... I lied, I'm sorry, so so sorry.

Re:

[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

I lied as well. You always came first, until the hurt was too unbearable. I pretended I didn't know that you were hurt as badly, and I wanted more, I wanted vengeance... I am sorry as well.

Please, come back.

Re:

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

Please, come back.
To the castle or to you?

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

The castle to start. We can talk. We must talk. Face to face.

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

I don't want to, I just... well, I do want to but I need some... I don't know, time or some other ridiculously pathetic concept. Besides, I'm not coming back until you promise me you'll never ever step foot in the common room when it's light again, I have feeling all notions of talking will vanish from your head.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

I've seen them and I've cursed your name for it, I've screamd and swore and thrown things. They can be mended. I do not know if I can. I know that, without you near, I will not heal fully, not ever until I can talk with you. I can only guess that you feel the same to be true.

I don't know if I could ever have you again, if I could ever let us be that close. But I want you as close as i can bear for you to be.

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

Well then I suppose I got my desired reaction, it was just in detention you... god, you made me feel so worthless.
You do know that you could never have me again, you have the one who's kisses are apparently better than anything I could ever do - what would you need me for, hm? Right now I don't think I could even be in the same room as you without bursting into hideously embarrassing tears, I'm still getting over the fact that I let a Weasley see me cry.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

You are not worthless. I said what I said to hurt you- not because it was true. I won't pretend myself- I do care about Parvati, and I do enjoy her kisses, but not more than that.

If you cried, I would... I would.... hold you.

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

Well congratulations because it bloody well worked.

If you cried, I would... I would.... hold you.
You know, I have no idea what I would do if you did, it might involve biting or stabbing. I might be able to have a semi-civil conversation without the other girl around but that doesn't mean I'm not beyond angry with you. In fact, I think I'm approaching a Draco on the rage-meter.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

I understand. But come here then, and stab me and scream at me, and if you need to cry I'll hold you nonetheless, and buy you new clothes if I get blood on your old ones.

I'm desperate for you.

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[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

I don't think I can wear anything you've bought me ever again. And I think I shall die once more if you keep saying things like that. You're not desperate for me, you want... you want Parvati, stop trying to pretend... please? I don't want you to hurt me anymore.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

I am damned. I want you both. But I want to speak with you, at least, even if there can never be anything else. I want to have you around, to make things the way they were efore this summer, even though so much has changed I know that can never be.

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

Enjoy your damnation, Draco.

Re:

[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

As much as you enjoy yours.

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[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

This isn't hell, it's purgatory.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

You love me and care for Padma... I'm mad over both you and Parvati.... how did this ever happen to us, Pansy?

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[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

It's a punishment of course. For everything we've ever done wrong in our lives since we've known each other, which is... well, a long time and a lot of wrong things.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

A catalog of sins, a scroll that when unrolled would stretch across the castle grounds...

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[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

The question is: would you rather we'd never spent that much time together throughout our lives and done those things or would you do it all anyway even if it meant ending up in this position?

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I don't want to trade time with you, not for anything, but if it meant I would still have you... i don't know.

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[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

Y'know, if you'd just asked me out in third year when I really started trying to get your attention we'd probably be engaged or something by now and this wouldn't have happened.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

I know. And for whatever it's worth, I wish that I had, and that we were- but too much has changed now.

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

You have connections with various Ministrys around the world, don't you? Steal a Time-Turner and we'll go back, I can put on an impossibly short skirt and pretend to drop my quill so I can bend over in front of you all over again... damn but that was a shamelessly unsubtle tactic I had.

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[frost-incarnate.livejournal.com]

If only it were that easy.... I remember the first time you did that. Black lace underwear, I believe?

[pansyxgotpride.livejournal.com]

And here's me thinking you never actually noticed I was doing anything!