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[personal profile] frost_incarnate
[Blocked for Fleur, Parvati, and Susan]

I have come to a conclusion: I did what I must. It would be senseless to regret the death of a murderer, a mindless fanatic following a man I have sworn to bring down. For his idiocy, for the senselessness of the pain he has inflicted, he deserved no better. I would not stay my hand if I could, and should not do so if a Death Eater stood in my way again. I cannot hesitate if I am truly commited to my cause. I dislike killing,and would never seek to kill any, save only the Dark Lord, but I cannot always avoid it. I know that now. And I can live with it.

Date: 2003-07-29 03:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I did what I must.
Did you?

It would be senseless to regret the death of a murderer, a mindless fanatic following a man I have sworn to bring down.
There's two sides to every coin, Draco. Sometimes you forget that, and that will be your greatest downfall in the end.

Date: 2003-07-30 10:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What are you trying to say?

Date: 2003-07-30 10:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There were things you could have done to stop him from endangering our mission without using an Unforgivable.

Yes, he may have been one of Voldemort's minions, but from the looks of things, he was pretty low in the ranks so it was doubtful he did much killing.

And he had a wedding band on his finger.

Date: 2003-07-30 10:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It wasn't as though I bloody went through all the curses I could think of, step-by-step, and said "Right then, I'll use this one." he was throwing curses at me, so I used the first thing that came to mind that I knew could stop him. I was a trifle preoccupied just then.

As for 'doubtful he did much killing,' does that truly make so much difference? He was willing to kill, to torture, and to be complicit in all manner of like offenses. Low rank does not make him a picture of innocence.

Why does this matter? And why do I feel like I'm under attack?

Date: 2003-07-30 10:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The first thing that came to mind?

Yes, I think it does make some difference. How do you know he was willing to kill, to torture and be complicit? I recognize that just because he is a low rank doesn't mean he is a picture of innocence, but surely there are some DeathEaters out there who are not all that they appear to be.

It matters because you're trying to play god again, as if you have the right, and you don't, Draco, okay? I can understand killing the Dark Lord. But did you even notice the expression in that man's face?

Perhaps you feel like you're under attack because someone is expressing a differing opinion, and giving you another view on something you don't particularly want another view on.

Date: 2003-07-30 10:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It isn't what you're saying that feels like an attack, it's the way your saying it.

Yes. I thought "He's better than me. I have to stop him now, or I'm dead. We're dead."

Ergo, my next thought.

No. As it happens, I was too busy trying to save your sister to worry about the expression on a dead man's face.

Date: 2003-07-30 10:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I thank you endlessly for saving Padma, you know that. I just don't know how I feel about the idea of the first thing coming to your mind being the killing curse.

And what do you mean "why does this matter?" The thought that you're taking this lightly terrifies me.

I'm talking about the expression on his face when he was alive.

Why do I feel like you're attacking me for disagreeing with you?

Date: 2003-07-30 10:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Look. It isn't usually the first thing that occurs to me, all right? Even in a duel or a fight. But I thought "If I can't stop him I'm dead." Thinking the word 'dead' rather brought it to the forefront of my mind.

And I'm not taking this lightly. I've been thinking about this for over a week. Is that lightly?

No. Again, I was a little too caught up to bother figuring out what he was feeling. It didn't matter to me what his expression does, and I still fail to see why it should.

... You're perfectly free to disagree with me. We disagree a lot, and always have. I know that.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You'll pardon me if I assume things, and correct me, I'm sure.

Your post implies that you're taking it lightly, your dismissal of how "he deserved no better," and how you would "not stay your hand if you could."

Perhaps I'm just a hopeless optimist, but I got a look at his face, and his eyes that were filled with a self-loathing and a hatred for what he was doing. Perhaps he wasn't just a "mindless fanatic" but was doing what he was because he couldn't see another way out - perhaps he had children to worry about saving, along with his wife. Perhaps there was something else that could have been done.

I'm also curious to know - how did you perform the curse flawlessly the first time?

Date: 2003-07-30 11:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, this casual dismissal I reached after ten days of thought, of turning it over in my head again and again- time in which you avoided me for the most part, denying me a sounding board for my ideas that I really could have used.

Perhaps. Perhaps he could have surrendered, perhaps a man who worries over children should know better than to commit his life to a career where death is as likely to come from the hand of his master as from an enemy. Perhaps, if I had had time to think without curses being thrown at me from his wand, I would have done something different.

My father has had me practicing the Unforgivables on rats and the like since I turned fourteen. He told me that, were I unable to perform them properly after his exhaustive demonstrations, I would be shown how they ought to be done, firsthand. Desperation can be a wonderful fuel for success, don't you think? I suspect he was bluffing about the Killing Curse... but I failed at the Imperius and paid the price too many times to be sure.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I did not avoid you! You knew that if you truly needed to talk to me, that I would've been there.
Yes. Blame it on me, Draco.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I blame nothing on you. I know only that when I first brought this up, you were too uncomfortable to speak about it.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Like you said yourself, ten days ago.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That you spent ten days in thought and during those ten days you went from one end of the spectrum in your thoughts to the other. And then assumed that I would still be exactly the same in my thoughts during those ten days.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Well then, would you care to share with me what your thoughts were then, and how they have changed to become what they are now?

Date: 2003-07-30 11:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
At first I didn't want to talk about it, like you said. Then as the hours passed, I wanted to understand more and more, but you were scarce, so I was forced to form my own conclusions about things.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

Look, the longer I think about this, the more bloody ridiculous it gets- have you forgotten that he threw a Killing Curse as soon as I came through the door? If I hadn't been quick on my feet, I'd be dead. And, well, how am I supposed to oppose a man whose servants are all willing to kill for him if I am not willing to kill myself? My allies will die, one by one, while his will simply come back, again and again, and if I am unwilling to stop them they will kill me as well. The odds are enough against me as it is.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

The logical part of my brain is agreeing with you, but there's this one part that just won't shut up.
The Dark Lord and his minions are doing what they believe is the right thing, and they're willing to kill for it, correct? As are you. The difference that's supposed to skew the parallel lines that are the two sides is that they aren't opposed to killing lightly, yet from everything I've seen, it seems that the different is barely noticable, if it's even there.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
So I'm nearly as bad as the Dark Lord, am I?

Date: 2003-07-30 11:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] You have a long ways to go before you're nearly as bad as him. I'm just saying that sometimes it's hard to tell the two mindsets apart. I can blame your father for that, I s'pose.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You could blame my father for a lot of things, but it changes none of them. "I have a long ways to go"- are you saying I'm on the downslope toeards his position, then?

Date: 2003-07-30 11:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can't help but wonder if your intentions, as good as they are now, will falter somewhere along the way.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Where exactly would they falter to, and why?

Date: 2003-07-30 11:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
The hearts of men are easily corrupted - it's our greatest downfall.
Why? Who knows? Maybe something as innocent as thinking something's right when in reality you've neglected to think of all the possible outcomes. Maybe a simple desire for something more.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Glad to see my girlfriend has faith in me.

Date: 2003-07-30 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If I didn't have faith in you, do you think I'd be as far in things as I am?

Date: 2003-08-04 10:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's the question, isn't it?

Date: 2003-08-04 10:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What are you trying to say?

Date: 2003-08-05 08:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'm saying you don't sound very committed to the cause. How can you expect to defeat the Death Eaters without being willing to kill in a situation where they are perfectly willing to kill you? In self-defense? If you can see a way, please, tell me. Otherwise... what do you want from me?

Date: 2003-08-05 09:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Excuse me? So suddenly because I'm concerned because you don't seem to give a shit about killing, that makes me a traitor?

Date: 2003-08-05 09:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That's not what I said. You seemed to be suggesting I should not have killed when I did, ergo it appears you have a problem with killing in self defense, which leads me to wonder how committed you are- not whether you are committed at all. You're the last person in the world I would ever think of as a traitor.

Date: 2003-08-05 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You know what? Forget this.

Date: 2003-08-05 10:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You. We're obviously not understanding eachother at all, and neither of us seems to even really care.

Date: 2003-08-05 10:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
If that's what you want, then... fine.

Date: 2003-08-05 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I don't think I'm the only one who wants it, even if it's subconscious.


I'll see you around, then.

Date: 2003-08-01 12:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's not senseless to regret it. But I agree with you, you did what you must.

Date: 2003-08-04 10:00 am (UTC)

Date: 2003-08-02 09:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Regret is not senseless, only useless. It can achieve nothing ... Not for us to play with the past.
What is done, is done. For what it is worth, I understand your position parfaitement, and I'm sure there is nothing else you could have done, sur l'instant. Now it is for you to live through this, past this, not to dwell on the past but to focus on your plan. It will not succeed without all your attention.
Voila. All my words of wisdom.

Date: 2003-08-04 09:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I am glad that someone, at least, understands me.

Date: 2003-08-05 12:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Does noone else ?
Well, I'm disappointed but not surprised ... They are brought up as mixed breeds, you know, and when that happens, blood can't tell.
Do you know what I believe their problem to be ?
They are too used to fighting to change things. And when they run up against something they can't see a way of changing, no commission to form and no representative to complain to, they don't know what to do. they are completely unable to adapt, unable to live with something they cannot mould around their own petty little world of cares.
We, Purebred Pureblood, we know better. The order of the world, our breeding, our blood, is so heavy, we know we have no choice. We are strong enough to accept that we are small and that Time is great.
They are not.

Date: 2003-08-06 11:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This makes... a tremendous amount of sense to me.

Date: 2003-08-06 11:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I thought I detected irony, but no doubt my senses are deceiving me. As ever, glad to be of service.

Date: 2003-08-06 11:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I find itis a theory that makes sense, and applies to explain most things.

Date: 2003-08-06 12:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Yes, though the burden grows heavier, and... I have doubts, now and again.

Date: 2003-08-06 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I have none. Rely on me.


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